Stay Just a Little Longer
by Ahoy-Cinderella
Summary: AU / post Narla wedding fiasco / As if having your new husband walk out on your wedding day wasn't bad enough, Carla now has some decisions to make that will impact herself, her husband and a life that's barely just begun.
1. Chapter 1

**Beware. I have feels. Bad things happen when I have feels.**

 **This is gonna be a few chapters, I have no idea how many but it's definitely going to be a multi-chapter story.**

 **Let's pretend that everything that's happened has happened, the Robert thing etc. This swerves off from just after the wedding and it's AU from there, I've had this idea for a while now, I originally had it for another ship but it fits Narla so much better so I'll write it with them instead.**

 **Please let me know what you think! Otherwise I don't know whether or not to continue on, I don't wanna write it if no-one is interested.**

* * *

 _I see you leaning, you're bound to fall_  
 _I don't want to be that mistake_

 _._

"Carla?" Michelle walked through the almost empty flat with a thin empty box in her hand, her eyes, once stained with tears as she helped the woman who was the closest thing she had to a sister pack up her flat in preparation for her move, now wide with shock as she held the offending item towards her best friend.

Carla stood stoic, staring blankly back towards the stunned brunette opposite her, unable to find the words to answer the question Michelle hadn't yet asked but she knew was coming.

"Don't…"

"Are you?" Michelle walked closer, placing the box down on the kitchen island with an airy thud "Carla…"

Silence fell over the pair like a heavy blanket, Carla felt suffocated in the place she had called once home. In two days time she'd be gone, she'd be away from the street she had grown accustomed to, the street she had fallen in love and fallen apart on.

"Carla. Tell me the truth…" Michelle demanded, she could read her best friend like a book at times, and now was one of those times. She already knew the answer; she just wanted to hear the words. "You don't even need to, I can see it in your eyes. You're pregnant."

"Chelle, please…"

"Please what?" Michelle stepped back and spread her arms in question "You can't seriously still be thinking of leaving? What about Nick? Doesn't he deserve…"

"Don't you dare" Carla raged as she cut Michelle off mid sentence. "Don't you dare tell me what Nick does or doesn't deserve because I can tell you right now, he doesn't deserve me." She wiped her face roughly, swiping the new tears that gathered in her eyes. "He deserves the world, he sure as hell doesn't deserve me after what I did. I've broken him, Chelle"

Carla whispered, "I've broken him." She took a shuddered breath and wrapped a hand around her own throat "I love him so much, Chelle. I love him so much and yet I still hurt him in the worst way possible. Now he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you" Michelle stepped forward and grabbed Carla's hands in hers in attempt to comfort her distraught friend "He loves you, he will always love you, he's just angry right now."

"He hates me, Chelle. He walked out on me at our wedding, it's been three days and we still haven't spoken. He won't take my calls, hell I don't even know where he is!"

It had been three days since the wedding and even after the confession; the couple had still gotten married. They had still professed their love for one and other, with tears in their eyes in front of their closest friends and family. That was until Tracy Barlow stormed in and said her piece.

"Carla, listen, I know you think he hates you…"

"He does!" Carla cut her off once again

"Listen, what you did, with Robert, you hit the self destruct button, after finding out about Johnny and everything…he knows that! And once he's had some time to calm down he'll realise that it meant nothing and you'll be able to talk about it like grown adults…"

"That won't happen" Carla muttered as she paced around the almost empty kitchen, her hands tugging at her dark hair

"Don't you think this will hurt him more?" Michelle questioned, she gripped the edge of the counter in frustration at her best friend's unwillingness to listen "Don't you think that finding out that you are carrying his child, yet you still left anyway without telling him will hurt him more? After everything you've both been through…"

"Don't!" Carla shouted, pointing at her best friend in fury "Don't you dare guilt trip me with the past"

"Car, you've both lost…"

"Shut up!"

"You can't leave. Not without telling him."

"There's nothing to tell" Carla said quietly, "I'm not having it"

Michelle's eyes widened as her heart fell to her stomach "Carla, you can't be serious"

Carla stood in a mirroring position to her best friend at the other end of the counter trying to keep a cool head and not show the true emotions she was feeling. Her wedding manicured nails scratched the marbled counter top as a wave of nausea rolled through her body.

"I am." She replied quietly "It's booked"

"Carla…" Michelle moved and stood beside the emotional brunette "Listen, you need to talk to Nick."

Carla moved to speak but was cut off "You need to talk to Nick." Michelle grabbed her arms and squeezed her lightly as a way of comfort "He isn't Peter…this isn't the same as last time"

"No, it's worse" Carla whispered as a fresh batch of tears filled her eyes "Nick clearly doesn't want to be with me…I can't do this on my own, Chelle, I can't. I can't stay here, not after what I've done. I've hurt him so much" She bit her bottom lip between her teeth in attempt to stop herself from breaking completely.

"He's such a good man" Chelle nodded in agreement "He's so good, and I know that if he knew, he'd stay with me. I can't do that to him…or to the kid"

"But…"

"There's nothing to say, Chelle." Carla stressed, as she stepped out of her friends embrace, she continued "I can't let him be with me if he doesn't want to." She ran her hands through her hair and brought them to cover her mouth before shrugging her shoulders

"Gail said I'd trap him" She attempted a chuckle "She always thought I was using him. Now if I have his kid, he's tied to me forever and I can't do that to him when he doesn't even want to take my calls."

"You don't know that, babe" Michelle sighed, watching her best friend struggle with her emotions "He's angry just now, this is all still so fresh, just give him time to calm down and you can sort this out."

"I do know it, Chelle" Carla nodded through the tears "He'd stay with me and we'd put on this happy family act and I'd still be _completely_ in-love with him and he'd play pretend" She choked on her words as a sob broke through her body, the thought of Nick not loving her anymore was tearing her apart.

"He'd pretend to love me, he'd say and do all the right things for show but I'd know that he'd really just be putting up with me for the sake of our child" She sobbed. "I don't want that for him. I don't want him to resent me"

Michelle rushed to Carla's side and grabbed her shoulders pulling her into a fierce hug. It was rare for Carla to break down but she could see this decision was killing her.

"I don't want him to resent our child," She whispered as she pulled back from Michelle's embrace. "What if I did tell him? What if we stayed together, stayed married, I had this baby and 5 years down the line he can't handle it any more? He can't stand the sight of me. What if he walks out on us and I have to explain to our child that daddy isn't here anymore because he hates mummy and can't stand to be around her."

"Carla, babe, you know that wont happen"

"He'd make such a good dad" Carla smiled as tears fell down her cheeks "He's the kind of guy you'd want to be the father of your child"

Michelle wiped away her own tears as she moved to sit on the couch, she couldn't find any words to try and convince Carla that getting rid of her baby would be a massive mistake.

"Carla, you know that this is just your anxieties right? You know that this is just your brain thinking up the worst case scenario and convincing your heart that it's real?"

"I can't keep this baby, Chelle."

"Talk to Nick, tell him how you feel…"

"What?" Carla laughed sarcastically "Tell him that I'm pregnant and there's no way in hell I can raise this baby without him, so basically just walk up to him and say 'Hey babe, I'm pregnant but I can't do it without you so if you don't stick by me I'm getting rid'"

"Maybe not quite like that…" Michelle muttered

"I'm not giving him an ultimatum, Chelle. Stay with me and I'll have your baby…"

"Look," Michelle turned and faced her friend "I know your stressed and you keep saying you can't do this without him but what if you could? What is stopping you raising this baby?"

Carla began pacing as more tears fell, her face was hurting, all she had done the past few days was cry and it was now just painful, her eyes were swollen and red, her face stung, her skin now extra sensitive from having been wiped so many times against her hand or the sleeve of Nick's hoodie that she had yet to take off.

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"Chelle…"

"No. You did this last time, you do this _all_ the time" Michelle barked, "You convince yourself you don't deserve happiness, that you're unworthy of it…"

"I am!" Carla shouted back, "I cheated on him, Chelle! I slept with someone else, not only that but I convinced him to give over half of his business to the guy I slept with! I broke his fucking heart and I told him on our wedding day! He doesn't want to see me ever again and I'm not surprised after what I did."

"But this baby…"

"No! Don't do this. Don't say this baby would be a fresh start because we both know that's not true. This baby would tie us together for the rest of our lives and I can't do that to him. He never wants to see or speak to me again and if I have this baby he'll have to. This baby will be a constant reminder that we were so in-love and now its shattered. I don't want that. I don't want this baby to feel like I did growing up, like some sort of mistake that just happened and now we're stuck with the consequences."

"Carla, it wouldn't be like that…"

"I don't want it to grow up with parents who don't speak to each other and if they do its just hateful words and glares. I watched that happen with Simon. Peter and Leanne were at each others throats for months and he was stuck in the middle, look how he coped with that!?"

"This isn't the same thing, Car"

"Isn't it? I cheated on Nick and now we're broken up. Now if I have this kid it'll be every other weekend with another woman playing mum and her and Nick slagging me off at every given opportunity"

Michelle walked over to Carla once again to try and calm her down but it didn't work.

"This is it, Chelle. I can't do this. I can't have Nick around me when he doesn't want to be, it's not fair on him and I don't think my heart can take being around him and knowing that he hates me. And I can't saddle this kid with me for a mum, no kid deserves that."

* * *

 ** _Please leave a review/comment and let me know what you think._**

 ** _Lyrics:_** ** _Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney_**

 ** _Twitter:_** ** _ahoycinderella_**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is just a continuation of the last chapter, the next one should start to get things moving.**

 **I hope if you are reading this that you are enjoying it, please let me know if you are...or if you're hating it, I can handle hate.**

 **Please leave a review.**

* * *

 _Letting go like a levee breaks_  
 _Walk away as if I don't care_

 _._

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Michelle handed Carla a mug of tea she had just made.

Carla accepted the mug and watched the steam flow from the boiling liquid. She sat on the floor with her back against the cool leather of the couch, her legs stretched out under the coffee table. "I'm not sure about anything any more, Chelle"

Michelle sat on the couch, one hand holding her own cup the other gently brushing her friends dark hair back over her shoulder. "How far along are you?"

"I have no idea" Carla sighed "I've been feeling odd for a few weeks but I thought it was just the wedding you know? I never thought I'd be pregnant, not again"

The concern and fear slowly dimmed from their earlier conversations, both women felt emotionally drained after practically screaming at each other for almost an hour. Michelle felt nothing but love for her best friend who was more like a sister than a friend. She had watched the woman go through hell and back multiple times from such a young age, dealing with a drunken mother and stepfather, awkward school days and trying to figure out marriage and money problems when Carla married her older brother Paul, then came Tony who almost killed her and Hayley, Frank who did the unspeakable and no matter how many times Carla said she was 'over it', Michelle knew the events of that night and the months following still haunted her best friend.

Despite the fact that she was once married to her older brother, Michelle knew that Nick was the best thing to ever happen to Carla. He built her up and evened her out, he could handle the bad days, he could handle the days that went so far beyond bad there was no longer words to describe it. He had a way of making Carla smile like she never had before, for the first time since Michelle had known her, Carla looked genuinely and positively happy. Of course there had been times with Paul, with Peter where she had been happy but it never lasted for long.

"I miss him, Chelle" Carla's voice was so soft she almost sounded like that scared kid Michelle used to know. "I just really miss him" Michelle moved herself to sit on the floor and wrapped her free arm around her friends shoulder as she watched her face crumble.

Carla brought her free hand to cover her mouth, trying to not let herself break again like she had done too many times in the last few days. Her eyes caught the glimmer of the rock on her left hand that sat just above the plain silver band that symbolised the marriage of her and Nick.

She dumped her cup on the table and played with the two rings on her finger, faint images flashed in her brain of the wedding that took place just three days ago, the first time she saw Nick standing at the end of the makeshift aisle in the bistro, her heart had leapt into her throat with joy at the giant grin that had burst across his face when their eyes met for the first time.

"I do think you need to talk to him, just for your own piece of mind, love" Michelle again gently pushed strands of Carla's dark hair back from her face. "Look at what happened with the Robert thing…"

The look of rage in Carla's eye caused Michelle to lean back somewhat and raise her hands slightly in surrender "I know, I know, don't talk about it" She said in just.

"But look, that happened at new year and you never told Nick, you let that eat away at you for months, to the point where you almost called off the wedding and then everything with Tracy…babe, by the time the wedding came you were like a bomb waiting to go off"

"I can't hurt him again, Chelle"

"I know" Michelle wrapped her arm around Carla's shoulders again "But what happens if he finds out?"

"He'll never know. My appointment's tomorrow, I'm leaving here, doing… _that_ and never coming back" Her voice quietened at the end of the sentence.

"Carla…"

"Chelle, we've been through this" Carla sighed and brushed her hands over her face and through her hair "I just…I can't do it on my own. I want him to be a dad, I really do" She smiled with tears in her eyes "He'd be the best dad. He's so great with Max and Lily. Hell he's even great with Bethany and she's in those mad teenage years" She let out a small chuckle as Chelle nodded in agreement about the beautiful yet extremely loud, opinionated blonde that she had grown close to over the time she and Nick had been together.

"He'd be an amazing dad, our kid would want for nothing with him, maybe for a better mum than me but still…" She scoffed lightly, pulling at the sleeves of her black cotton sweater. "I can't stay around here and watch him move on with someone else, Chelle, I think it would kill me"

"What if he didn't move on? What if you both actually made it work?"

Carla jeered at her best friend "You and I both know the chances of that happening are slim to none. I don't want him to be with me because of the baby, I hate the thought of 'staying together for the kid'. I want him to be happy and if that's without me then fine, I just can't be around to watch him do it. My heart can't take it"

"I do think this is just you thinking the worst. I think if you both sit down and have a normal conversation, let him get mad, you explain what went on, just both of you hash it out and see what happens. You can't just leave and never speak to him again…"

"Chelle, this isn't just about that…I mean yeah, if the Robert thing hadn't happened and we were still in this situation then yeah, we would've had this baby and been a proper little family but I don't even…"

Michelle turned a little to face the stressed brunette beside her who had just halted the conversation mid-sentence.

"Don't even what?"

"I don't even think I want a baby"

"You said that last time," Michelle said quietly, knowing that bringing up her previous pregnancy was a touchy issue.

"Last time was different" Carla spat back, desperate to not drag up the past.

"How was it different? Is it because it was Peter? Let me tell you Carla, compared to last time, even with everything that's happening right now, you're in a much better situation than last time"

"God Michelle, don't do this" Carla clambered up from the floor and slowly paced towards the kitchen.

"No, listen to me. Peter put you through hell too many times than I care to remember, there's no way Nick would be like that."

"I know that! I know he'd be amazing, I've told you I know that but it's not about him, it's me. Me, Michelle, _I_ don't want a baby. I don't want to be pregnant again, I don't want to get attached to this little _thing_ that's inside of me, I don't want to see it at the scan, I don't want to feel it moving and kicking…I wanted that last time, I wanted that baby. I wanted _her_ " Carla gripped the edge of the counter and fought for breath and the tears fell hard and fast. "I wanted her so much but she didn't want me"

"Car…" Michelle fought back her own tears as she watched her best friend struggling.

"I couldn't handle it if this one didn't want me either"

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 **Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.**

 **Lyrics:** **Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney**

 **Twitter:** **ahoycinderella**


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you so much to those of you how have left reviews. I'm loving knowing how you feel about this and thank you to everyone who has been reading._

 _I've added a little flashback scene in this chapter, it's in italics._

 _Again, let me know what you think of this and if you want me to continue!_

* * *

 _Walk a line until it blurs_

 _Build walls too high to climb out_

/

"You need to go to the doctor and get checked out" Michelle gently rubbed her hand up and down her best friend's back as Carla chocked back another sob. "For your own peace of mind if nothing else. You don't know that the same thing will happen again, there was just _so_ much stress last time, maybe..."

"What and there's no stress now? C'mon Chelle!" Carla exclaimed

Bringing up the past, especially her previous pregnancy was something Carla hadn't done for a long time. Not since Erica had lost her and Nick's baby boy. She had admitted that evening how scared she had been, how heartbroken it felt to no longer be able to feel her tiny baby girl growing inside of her, she laid her soul bare in front of Nick for the first time and told him things about herself and the event that had crushed her, things she hadn't confessed to anyone else before.

She had lain in that hospital room - which was cruelly situated at the end of the maternity ward - for hours after the procedure that had taken place to remove her child from the safety of her womb and had buried herself under the heavy covers and cried to herself. The sound of labouring mothers screaming in agony as they brought new life into the world, brand new babies taking their first breath before releasing a heart-warming cry to let everyone know they had arrived had haunted her for days and weeks afterwards.

"I can't" Carla brushed the tears from her eyes with a shaky hand and shook her head "I can't do this, I'm having an abortion, Chelle. I've decided"

Michelle sighed and ran her fingers through her dark hair "I'll support your decision, whatever that may be, you know I always will but babe, I think you really need to take a few days, I know it's hard and I know you feel like you don't want to but you need to."

Carla stepped away and moved to fill a glass of water for herself, quickly taking a sip before opening her mouth to protest, "What's the point?"

"The last thing I want is for you to make a decision you're going to regret." The thought of having a baby with Nick had crossed Carla's mind a few times during their relationship, mostly when she witnessed him as 'Uncle Nick' with Max and Lily who worshipped the ground he walked on.

Even with baby Harry he was brilliant, he took to handling a new born like a duck to water and Carla had felt her heart burst with emotion when they had gone to meet Harry for the first time and she watched as Nick carefully picked up the new baby and whispered softly to him. She had held back and kept herself towards the back of the room, not wanting to intrude on the beautiful family moment between the group, she had taken a long time to feel a part of them but that day had changed everything.

/

" _Hey little man, I'm your uncle Nick" Carla watched as he carefully lifted the new born, tucked up in a soft blue and white blanket, from the plastic crib he was quietly laying in beside his mothers hospital bed._

 _She stood at the back of the room towards the door watching the scene unfold. He had called her earlier on and told her the news of Harry's arrival and that he would be round to pick her up soon so they could visit._

 _Carla had been a bag of nerves in the car; she didn't feel she belonged in the hospital celebrating with the family. The last thing she wanted was an awkward situation and things between her and Gail were still a little frosty, although better than they had been before._

" _Babe, you're a part of this family now and Sarah loves you, she asked me to get you, she thought you should be here"_

" _Well that I don't believe" She chuckled as Nick indicated round the roundabout and the hospital came into view._

" _She wasn't sure of you at first, but you weren't of her either and now she trust me, she thinks you're great. You've been amazing with Bethany and for that she's forever grateful. Trust me. You are wanted."_

 _Those three words had hit her like a freight train, there was no way she could deny Nick's love for her, she could tell every time those words fell from his lips, his eyes lit up in a way she hadn't ever seen with Paul or Tony, even with Peter it hadn't been the same. To hear that his family were accepting her felt strange and entirely wonderful, not that she would ever admit it._

" _Come and say hi, Carla" Sarah smiled "You can hold him if you like, he'd love to meet his new auntie"_

 _Carla had smiled back nervously as she took a few steps and came closer to Nick who had given her the biggest grin she had ever seen. He adjusted the baby boy in his arms and turned to face her._

" _Say hi to your auntie Carla, little man" Nick motioned for her to hold the baby but she held her hands up in rejection._

" _Oh no, he's happy where he is" She smiled, her heart felt full and she hoped that no one could see the tears that were gathering in her eyes. Baby Harry was awake and staring at her, his bright blue eyes were attached to her and in that very moment she could feel nothing but love._

" _You can hold him you know" Nick whispered to her, sensing her hesitation._

" _No, I can't" She mouthed back before quickly hiding her face to wipe away the evidence of tears._

 _The thought of holding someone else's new born baby when she had never gotten to hold her own was breaking her heart and as much as she loved being a part of this special moment between the family, she wanted nothing more than to drink herself into oblivion and cry burning tears until she had nothing left to give._

 _/_

Michelle stepped back slightly and grabbed her bag "I have to get back but we are going to talk about this more. You can't go through this on your own no matter how much you think you can"

Hating that she had to leave Carla on her own in this state, Michelle rounded the corner towards the pub and saw the man they had just been talking about stumble out of a taxi.

"Nick!" Michelle rushed over to him as he threw some cash towards the driver.

Nick sighed and let out a groan, rubbing his hand through his blonde hair "Michelle, I can't do this. _Please_ …"

"Nick look, I know you don't want to talk about it…"

"Damn right I don't…" He cut off

"Look, please listen" Michelle grabbed his arm as he turned away from her and headed towards his mothers house "Nick please, I know she's probably the last person you want to see…"

"I just can't right now, Chelle" Nick sighed

Michelle struggled with her loyalty to her best friend and her overwhelming need to try and fix their broken relationship but she knew Carla was making a mistake and she knew that Nick deserved to know the truth.

"I know she made the biggest mistake of her life, believe me she knows that too. She hates herself Nick, more than usual…" She smirked trying to joke and was glad when Nick himself managed a slight chuckle.

"You have to talk to her" Michelle insisted, "She's leaving tomorrow"

"Leaving?" Nick felt his heart drop to his feet, he was angry, more than angry even but he just felt sad. These past few days were supposed to be the happiest of his life, marrying the woman he could honestly say was the love of his life before heading off to Paris for a honeymoon to remember. "What do you mean leaving? Where to?"

"She doesn't want to cause you any more hurt, Nick" Michelle replied with honesty "She hates herself for what she's done and she doesn't want to stay round here knowing that you hate her. She says that if you want to move on from her that's fine and you deserve to be happy but she can't be around to watch you do that, she says it would kill her."

"I don't… _hate_ her" Nick confessed sadly, the last thing he ever wanted in the world was to see Carla upset "I'm pissed, Chelle, I'm furious. How could she…how could they?"

"I know, believe me I know" Michelle placed a comforting hand on Nick's arm "You need to talk, both of you. Just promise me you'll talk to her. I can't tell you why, only she can but if you never listen to anything I say again just please listen to this; Talk to her. Before its too late"

* * *

 _ **Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!**_

 _ **Lyrics: Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney**_

 _ **Twitter: ahoycinderella**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello, it's me._  
 _This is just a sort chapter, I've had zero motivation for writing recently and I hate it. This also isn't how I intended for this chapter to be so I can honestly say I no longer have any idea what I'm doing with this fic, ha! Although I'm hoping I can still go with my original plan which means there's some beautiful angst heading this way!_

 _Thank again to any of you who are still reading this! Let me know if you'd like me to carry on!_

* * *

 _I struggle sometimes to find the words  
Always sure until I doubt_

 _._

"Nick…" Carla's heart took a dive towards her feet, her knuckles turned white as she gripped the handle of the flat door in what could only be described as fear at the sight of her new husband, her new husband whom she hadn't seen since their wedding day.

He stood in silence, taking in her appearance, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her face free from her usual simple make-up with the thick black liner, she wore her traditional black leggings and an oversized shirt, one that he was sure was his once upon a time. In the corner of the room, Nick noticed a couple of cardboard boxes and as angry as he was, he felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of Carla leaving Weatherfield without him.

"Michelle said you're leaving" His voice was hoarse, probably from the amount of liquor he'd thrown back in the last few days and the fact that he had barely said anything other than 'refill please' to anyone.

Carla stood stoic, her brain was a mess of words, all the things she had decided to she would say when she finally saw him again but nothing would come out, her mouth opened slightly and immediately closed again, not a single word uttered. She just pulled back from the door slightly, turning her back as she walked towards the kitchen counter, she half expected him to do a runner as soon as her back was turned but the sound of the heavy wooden door clicking shut brought her back into the moment, turning to come face to face with the man she loved the most.

"So are you?" Nick questioned "Leaving?"

"Why? Are you here to stop me? Or help me load the car?" Carla came back quick witted as usual, her heart leapt again at the sarcasm in her answer, she never thought she would be able to talk to Nick again without profusely apologising through burning tears.

"Sorry" She quickly apologised "I just…I didn't think you'd come back."

"You thought I'd left for good?" He asked, his voice quiet yet somehow harsh

"Maybe" She shrugged, her hand cautiously pressing against her stomach as she felt the overwhelming need to vomit. She moved quickly towards the sink, her hands gripping the edge of the cool steel before grabbing a glass and half filling it with water, hoping the cool liquid would calm her swirling stomach.

"I gave up everything, Carla" Nick whispered as he took a few steps closer to her.

"I'm so sorry" Her reply was almost silent, her eyes burned as the tears threatened once more to fall from her eyes. "I never meant to hurt you"

"But you meant to sleep with my chef?"

"What?" Carla stood back shocked feeling as if she'd been slapped, "Of course I didn't!"

"Well you said you never meant to hurt me…did you mean to sleep with him? Or was he just there? Would you have slept with anyone or was he just convenient?"

Nick's words tore through her like a knife, she had seen him angry before but this just felt cruel. "Nick please" She pleaded as she moved towards him, her hands shaking as she reached for his but quickly pulling back in fear as if his skin would scold her.

The move didn't go unnoticed by Nick who felt a wave of sadness as the thought of Carla thinking he would hurt her in that way.

"I honestly never meant it. I could tell you the truth and I will if you want me to but you'll think I'm making excuses because everyone does when it comes to this but just promise me you understand that I would never, ever intentionally hurt you" Carla pleaded, bringing her hand to her face to brush away the fallen tears that slowly seeped down her cheek.

"Were you unhappy?" His voice tore her heart in two, his words full of what could only be described as quiet desperation caused her to quickly shake her head as she reached for the sides of his jacket.

"No" She replied quietly "You've made me the happiest I've ever been. Please don't think that it had anything to do with you" She reached up and gently brushed her fingers across his cheek.

"I love you so much, Nick" She whispered, she stood on her tiptoes and softly brushed her mouth against his, their lips meeting for the first time since their first kiss as husband and wife.

Things escalated quickly as Nick's hand moved to the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in the end of her ponytail and their tongues colliding as she pulled his body closer to hers.

"Stop" Nick pulled away as Carla's back hit the kitchen counter; her fingers still gripped his sides and his still in her hair. "I can't do this" He took a step back and pushed Carla's hands away from his body.

"Nick…"

"I can't do this"

"Nick please…"

"You slept with someone else, Carla! You slept with someone else and then convinced me to practically hand over my business to him!" He shouted, "I can't just forget that, that shit doesn't just go away!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry" She raised her hands in front of her chest in defeat "I know it doesn't, I just…"

"I miss you so much, Nick" She admitted, "It's been four days and I feel like I'm literally falling apart without you"

"And yet you're leaving?" He questioned, his arms pointing towards the few boxes of her things that hand been already packed away.

"I have to" Carla whispered, "I have to go, I can't stay here, Nick. Knowing how badly I hurt you, seeing you everyday and knowing you hate me, I can't do it, babe"

Carla had to stop herself, if she continued to talk the way she was she knew she'd admit she was pregnant and she didn't want that. She didn't want to feel like she was forcing him to stay with her. The feeling of nausea quickly returned as she thought of the ball of cells inside of her that could one day be their child. The thing she had insisted she never wanted until one day it was torn away from her against her will and now she had a second chance, a second chance at motherhood, a tiny baby that was part her and part of the most amazing man she'd ever known.

"I don't hate you" Nick admitted, he moved back and perched himself on the back of the couch "I have never hated you. I love you so damn much, Carla. I love you more than anything which is why this is killing me"

Carla wiped the tears from her face as he spoke, her heart racing. "I love you," She whispered in reply.

"I can't forget what you did. One day, maybe I can forgive you but right now I'm so angry. I'm so angry I can barely look at you yet I love you so much I can't bring myself to turn away"

"Then let me show you we can work it out, please." She stepped forward and grabbed his hands in hers, mixing her fingers with his and pulling them to her as she felt him try to pull away.

"Let me show you that we're worth it"

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!_**

 ** _twitter: ahoycinderella_**

 ** _lyrics: Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney_**


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you so much for your lovely comments! It makes me giddy when you leave a comment, I love knowing that there are people that are actually enjoying what I write so again, thank you!_  
 _I have no idea how this chapter happened, I didn't even think about writing anything and then Elise tweeted about how Carla and Nick were so in love and then I just felt like dying because THEY COULD'VE BEEN SO HAPPY MY GOD CORRIE WTF WERE YOU THINKING!?_

 _anyway, this is what happened! please let me know what you think!_

* * *

 _I'm better as a memory than as your man_

 _._

"I'm certain that while there's a breath in my body I will _always_ love you" Carla voice broke as she recited the words "You said that to me. You said that, Nick"

"That was before I found out the truth" He scolded as he stood and moved back from the tearful brunette in front of him, his feet took him towards the window, his eyes gazed through the slats in the blinds, taking in the sight of the street below currently bathed in darkness.

"You said that even with all my faults I was the woman you were going to marry, you said you were certain of that." She brushed back the tears from her cheek as she remembered that cold January night down at the red rec. He had convinced her that night - despite her overwhelming guilt and fear of his rejection - that they were forever. Nick's love for her had washed away the feeling of guilt and dread that had haunted her the days following her idiotic drunken mistake.

"And I did." He replied, "I married you. I stood in front of my family, your family, and our friends…I stood there and told them how much I loved you and how perfect you are for me. That no matter what we've been through in the past, no matter how deep and dark our pain has been in the past years of our lives, it didn't matter any more. It didn't matter because as of that moment, we were starting a brand new life. Together we could get through anything."

"We can, Nick. We can get through anything, as long as we're together"

"Carla…"

"I'm not asking you to forget" She insisted, her heart felt as if it was slowing down, it felt like it was coming to a halt and slowly falling to her feet "I know you can't and I know what I did has broken your heart and believe me I'll never forgive myself for it but please Nick, just please let me try and fix it."

Nick glanced around the room, the shelves emptier than they were a week ago but one thing stood out, the golden frame that held a photo of them. Neither of them were paying attention when Michelle had snapped the photo. His arm was wrapped around Carla's shoulder keeping her close, she had told them she was heading home but he wasn't ready, they were laughing and joking with Steve and Lloyd, Michelle occasionally joining in and as Carla had gotten ready to stand he had wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back, his lips pressed against her head in a soft kiss, convincing her of one more drink.

"I can't forget." He mumbled, his eyes drifting from the photo of happier times back to his new wife. "I just can't, every time I see you I'm reminded of what you did"

Nick moved from the window and stepped closer to Carla, his fingers reaching for hers, his thumb gently caressing the soft skin over her knuckles "I can't get the image of you and him out of my head"

"`Nick"

"He kissed your lips, the same lips that told me you love me, the same lips that asked me to marry you. He had your body in his hands, he touched your skin, the same skin that has been held against mine, the same body that has plagued every crevice of my mind and kept me awake for hours…it feels like he stole a part of you from me."

Carla's tears fell freely as Nick gently brushed the stray hairs that had fallen from her ponytail, her hand grabbed the front of his blazer and held it tight in her fist, keeping him as close as possible. She cleared her throat and began to talk as she stared at the floor "It was one time and I was drunk" She whispered, "All I remember is feeling sick, the pain in my chest as he stood in the room in front of me, laughing when I realised what I'd done"

"I don't need any more images of the two of you in my head" Nick replied, the feeling of nausea creeping over him

"I'm not trying to put images in your head, I just want to explain. It didn't mean anything and…"

"Don't you get it? It doesn't matter that it doesn't mean anything or that you were drunk, you still gave yourself to him"

Carla stepped back and broke their embrace, her hand covered her mouth as she felt the urge to vomit.

"How would you feel if it was me that did that? How would you feel if I had slept with someone else? Knowing that I had another woman kissing me and touching me, knowing that I was doing to her what I'd done to you"

"Nick please…" Carla moved around to the sink and gripped the edges until her knuckles turned white; she saw spots as the burning sensation moved from her stomach to her throat.

"No, you say I need to understand but so do you! I know that it was a mistake, you've told me that but that doesn't get the image of the two of you out of my head!"

Nick's voice faded to a dull echo in the back of her mind as her head spun and her stomach churned, she let out a small groan before heaving into the sink, the acid from her stomach burned her throat and mouth as she vomited what little food she had eaten that day into the kitchen sink.

Nick immediately stopped talking and time stood still as he watched as Carla's shoulders began to shake with the force of her sickness. Any anger and pain he felt towards her instantaneously disappeared as he watched her tremble, one arm wrapped around her middle as the other held the edge of the sink.

"Carla?" He was at her side in an instant, after what felt like an hour of watching her in silence "Carla…its okay" He gently rubbed her back and held the arm that was across her middle.

"You're okay, just get it out" He knew how much she hated being sick, the thought of vomiting had always drowned her in a blanket of anxiety.

"Nick…"

"Shh, just breathe" He said quietly as she struggled to catch her breath "You're okay."

"I can't…"

"Carla…" He held her tighter as she tried to move away from him, he rubbed firmer circles on her back as she gagged again followed by a sharp coughing fit trying to bring up whatever was left in her stomach.

After a few minutes of silence and the occasional groan from the suffering brunette, Carla stepped back before burying her head in her hands and leaning forward onto the cool counter, the cold marble worktop providing a little relief from the burning of her skin.

Nick busied himself with rinsing away the evidence of her sickness and filled a glass of water "Carla, you need to stay hydrated, drink this." He placed the water in front of her "Slowly. Just take small sips"

With her stomach still doing gymnastics she collected the cool glass in her hand and watched Nick move expertly round the kitchen tidying up after her 'episode'

"Have you eaten anything different?" He broke the silence between them.

Carla shook her head and took a sip of water, breathing deeply as the cold liquid soothed her burning throat. Her hand hovered over her stomach, the knowledge of what was really going on, the fact that she had their child growing inside of them and that was more than likely the cause of her vomiting, along with the thought of the love of her life with another woman.

"I'm fine, Nick"

"Well, if you were fine you wouldn't have just vomited your entire body weight into the sink" He replied back with a hint of sarcasm

Carla groaned at the thought of vomiting again "I'm fine now. I guess I just need to lie down" She looked at him with hope, wishing he would stay. All she wanted to do was lie in bed with her husband and finally get longer than a couple of hours of what had lately been nothing but broken sleep.

"Yeah, you should" Nick replied. "I'll eh…I'll get going"

"Nick." She called for him as he reached the door "Is there any hope for us? At all?"

Nick stood with his hand on the door handle, he gazed back at his wife, her skin pale and slightly clammy after her bout of vomiting, her hair brushed back, looking like a lost, scared little girl. He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and kiss her forever and promise her that everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn't.

* * *

 ** _Let me know if you'd like more and what you thought of this chapter._**

 ** _twitter: ahoycinderella_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_biggest chapter yet! literally and figuratively._**

 ** _let me know what you think._**

 ** _ENJOY._**

* * *

 _Break my heart but it won't bleed_

 _My only friends are pirates, it's just who I am_

.

"No. Nick!" Carla moved a little to quickly for her body to handle after her recent vomiting that she stumbled slightly, trying to reach for him as he held the door handle.

She stood at his side, one hand pressed firmly against the door keeping it closed. Her mind raced, warped images of their life together fuzzing back and forth before her eyes. "No…" She whispered, her voice no quiet that Nick barely heard her. She couldn't let him leave, not without knowing if they had a chance, she found herself swallowing the words 'I'm pregnant', she couldn't let it be a factor in his decision, she needed to know if he still wanted _her_ , not her and a baby.

"Just…please" She pleaded quietly, one hand still on the door while the other pulled at the front of the hoodie that she wore, the navy material - just a little too big for her lean frame - that she had stolen from him and claimed as her own just days after they had gotten together.

"Carla, I can't be here…" Nick admitted, "I just need time"

"How much?" She questioned, her eyes glassed over with unshed tears, watching the emotion on his face, she couldn't pick out anything other than pain and heartache and knowing that it was her that caused it made her want to throw up even more. "How much time?"

"I don't know" He said quietly, he tried to pull the door open but was once again stopped by his wife, anxiety bathing her once fierce and defiant gaze.

"I need to know" Carla begged, holding her hand held against her stomach "I need to know…do we have any chance? Is there any chance we can get through this?"

The thought of him with their child bled through her mind, her heart racing as she let her self get lost in her own imagination just for a moment. A little boy, a perfect miniature version of his father, soft blonde hair and a cheeky grin that she could never say no to, Nick holding his new born son, curled up on the couch while watching football, trying to explain the rules to the tiny child that could barely keep his eyes open. Her heart filled with joy for a split second before the nausea set in at the thought of being a single mother or not even being a mother at all. She still had her appointment booked at the clinic and all she wanted was an answer from Nick, yes or no?

"Nick, please tell me. Do you think you'll ever forgive me?"

"I don't know" Nick moved his hand from the handle and touched her arm, then his fingers moved softly across her jawline "I'll never get over you" He said with a smile, although not one of happiness, it was one more of despair.

"That's not what I asked" She grabbed his hand and entangled their fingers together, "I need to know, do you still want me? Do you still want me as your wife?" She smiled through her tears.

"I'm your wife," She whispered, "I never thought I'd ever get anyone as amazing as you"

"Car…"

"I love you so much" Carla pulled Nick close by his shoulders, their foreheads touching, she felt him sigh, his breath warm against her lips "I want it all with you." She ran her fingers through his hair and let them rest at the nape of his neck, keeping them connected.

"I want our life. I _need_ our life, Nick. Everything we talked about, everything we planned for…we could leave, start all over again…"

"What if we didn't?" He replied, stepping back slightly, focusing his gaze intensely on her.

"Didn't what?" Her heart plummeted to the floor; she felt her hands begin to shake at the prospect of him leaving her forever.

"Didn't leave" He established "What if we stayed in Weatherfield? Would you do that?"

"I just want you," She admitted, her throat felt like it was closing. The only reason they were even thinking of leaving was because of her and her stupid decisions. "I don't care where we are or where we go, Nick, I just want to be with you. I just want to be your wife"

Nick broke the close embrace and leant back against the wall, his arms folded over his chest as he stared at the floor "Did you even want to leave?"

"What?" She questioned, her hands pushed deep into the pockets of the hoodie.

"Devon…our new life, was any of what you said real?" His mind played the scene back of her talking about their new life in their own little cottage by the beach…just the three of them.

He had let himself drift off in his imagination that night, the thought of he and Carla living by the sea, their own space, watching the sunset behind the water while their child played in the sand beside them. Their daughter, whenever he imagined their child it was always a daughter. A little girl with her mother's bright green eyes and a smile that could stop anyone in their tracks, she would be bright and funny and have so much energy that her parents would be left permanently exhausted but they wouldn't care, they would be so happy and in-love that no amount of fatigue could dull their contentment.

"Of course it was," She whispered

"Or was it just a way to keep me from finding out the truth?"

"Nick…"

"Carla, I just can't…I really thought you wanted this you know?" He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed while moving himself over to the kitchen counter, laying his palms down flat on the marble surface.

"I did Nick…I do" She clarified

"The only reason you suggested we leave was because Tracy was blackmailing you. Otherwise we you never would've brought up the idea and we'd still be living here and you'd still have the factory and I'd still have the bistro…"

"Nick…"

"No! God Carla, this is what I mean!" He shouted, "How am I supposed to know what I want if I don't even know what was real in the first place?!"

Thick, fat tears fell from Carla's eyes "Nick please…" She walked over and grabbed him by collar, forcing him to face her "Don't ever question this." She begged

"Don't _ever_ question how I feel about you because I love you. I never thought I could love anyone the way I loved Peter, I'd never felt like that before but you…God Nick, you are everything I never knew I wanted." She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, tears still silently falling from her eyes. "I love you so much, I feel it everywhere. My heart feels so full whenever someone mentions your name, never mind when you're in the room. Saying that I love you doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you." She kissed him again with a little more force as if trying to push the feelings into him.

"And telling you how much I hate myself and how sorry I am will never be enough to describe how I feel about what I did to you" She whispered, "I'll never forgive myself for making you feel this pain and I'll do anything I can to take that pain away"

They stood in silence, the pair of them heartbroken and desperate in the middle of the kitchen; their hands linked together, both hearts pounding furiously in their chests.

"Is that why you're leaving?"

Carla shifted her gaze from the floor to his face, waiting for the next question she could tell was about to fall from his lips.

"Did you think leaving would make me feel better?" He asked "Or is it that running away would make you feel better?"

"You just left…" Carla replied quietly "You just…you walked away, I thought that was it, I thought you didn't…I thought you didn't want me any more and I knew how badly I'd hurt you, I didn't want you to be the one, I mean, your family is here, everyone you love…" Her words stuck in her throat, she thought about his family, his family that had accepted her, that had felt that she mattered, that she had made Nick so happy that she deserved to be a part of their crazy unit.

"I thought that if you didn't want me any more you should still have them, you shouldn't have to leave your family, your friends, Lea…" She found herself nauseous at the thought of Leanne. She had never understood their relationship, the were high-school sweethearts, married, broken up, affair, married, broken up and yet they still remained close, through everything, there would always be something between them and Carla knew she was lying when she said she wasn't even a tiny bit jealous.

"I ruined us. I should be the one to leave, its not like I haven't before, its not like there's much keeping me here…not if I don't have you"

.

It was hours later and Michelle cornered Nick as he walked into the Rovers, his head hung low and a voice in his head saying 'drown yourself in whiskey'

"Nick…"

"Michelle, look…"

Michelle took in his current state, the man was the epitome of sadness and she could only imagine what state Carla was in "What happened?" She asked him.

Nick gave her a sad smile, "I think you should go and see Carla," He suggested "I erm, I just don't think…"

"You've broken up? Officially?" Michelle's heart sat in her throat, she could tell just by looking at him that Nick wasn't sure he had made the right decision but she also knew that she was in no place to judge or to try and force her opinion on him. She would talk it over with Carla.

"I want to say no, I want to go back to last week when I had no idea…or hell lets go back to new year and I'd punch Johnny for upsetting her and I'd back off so she didn't feel the need to go out and get hammered and screw my chef…"

Michelle couldn't help but give him a look filled with pity "Nick, I'm so sorry." She reached over and squeezed his hand "For what its worth I don't think anyone can feel as bad as Carla does right now, you have to know how sorry she is"

"I do" He nodded and threw back his glass of whiskey, welcoming the burn of the dark amber liquid. "But that doesn't mean I can forgive her. I don't know what to do." He sighed. "At least there's nothing tying us down, she's free to leave like she planned if she wants."

"Leave? She's…" The brunette behind the bar was hit with the sudden realisation that her best friend hadn't been completely honest with her husband "She's still leaving? She didn't say anything about…"

"About what?"

.

"You didn't tell him?" Michelle burst into the flat to find her best friend hastily packing clothes into a suitcase, not even bothering about neatness.

"No" Carla wiped her tears and carried on packing "He can't forgive me. I can see it in his eyes Michelle, he's never gonna forgive me"

"But Carla! He deserves to…"

"No! This is my decision…" Carla threw her jeans on top of the case and pointed at her friend "He has no idea about this baby and its better this way. I can leave and we can cut all ties and he can start again and be happy"

"I just saw him Carla, there is no way he's happy with this decision…"

"Then why did he suggest it!?" Carla cried. "He left! He said that he needed time and that in the end maybe its better this way, that maybe one day we could be together but this would always be hanging over us and I can't live like that. I can't live my life knowing that he can throw this back in my face at any point"

Carla began pacing the floor, her hands shaking and her breathing laboured "I just can't…"

"Carla…" Michelle stepped closer towards her friend who was struggling to calm herself. "Carla, you need to calm down"

"Calm down?" Carla laughed and ended up coughing hard when the air caught in her throat, tears still streaming down her face "I can't…calm…do…"

"Carla, listen to me, you need to breathe. This is no good for either of you, you need to calm down, you're having a panic attack"

She felt the tears well up in her own eyes as she watched her friend struggle to catch her breath "It's over…I can't…"

"Carla, look at me, take long, deep breaths, here…" Michelle tried to get Carla to copy her breathing; she would end up in hospital if she kept this up.

She grabbed Carla by the shoulders and tried to keep her still, both of them failing to notice the figure that was standing in the open doorway watching the scene in front of him.

"Look this isn't good for you, or the baby, you need to slow down…"

"Baby…?"

Both women turned in shock, Carla's breathing got worse as they saw the figure standing by the door.

"What baby?"

* * *

 ** _Let me know what you think!_**  
 ** _Should I continue?_**

 ** _follow me on twitter: ahoycinderella_**


	7. Chapter 7

_I've just noticed that I've never really written a fic where one chapter follows exactly where the last one left off. I'm sure I've done it for a few chapters or so of different fics but I seem to be doing it every time with this one, haha!_

 _Anyway, I hope you are all still enjoying this! Please let me know what you think and if you'd like me to continue._

 _Thanks!_

* * *

 _I'm built to fade like your favourite song  
_ _I get reckless when there's no need_

 _._

"Nick…"

His ears didn't even register Michelle's voice saying his name, he couldn't hear anything other than a dull ringing as he watch his wife struggle with her breathing, tears running down her cheeks, her best friend trying to keep her calm and steady all the while she tried to rip herself from the grasp she was in.

"Carla?" He wasn't even sure if his voice was his own, he found himself slowly walking towards the crying brunette, he was sure the confusion and fear was written across his face.

Carla just shook her head and kept mumbling "I'm so sorry" over and over again as she gazed between both Michelle and Nick before breaking free from Michelle's grasp and escaping towards the bathroom.

"Carla! Don't…" Michelle tried to follow but the door was bolted shut before she could stop her.

She locked the door and let out a gut-wrenching sob and she slowly lowered her exhausted body to the floor, with her hands buried in the warm sleeves of her husband's hoodie she covered her face and cried. Carla cried for Nick, her husband whom she loved more than anything, for the fact that she'd ruined his life and pretty much rolled a live grenade through any trust he had in her, she cried for herself and the fact that she had somehow yet again managed to ruin her life. Finally, after all these years she had found someone who was truly, passionately in love with her, who had seen her at her highest and her lowest and still loved her with all of his heart and she ruined it, she ruined everything.

And in the end she cried for her baby, the tiny little life that was just beginning inside of her, that was making itself comfortable for the long journey of growth ahead. Tears fell as she thought of all the things that should've happened, telling Nick she was pregnant, surprising him in a sappy way with a worlds best dad mug or a tiny pair of booties and a new-born onesie. He never should've found out like this, during an argument between her and her best friend, as she was hastily packing to -yet again - leave town.

Carla sat in silence, with only the sound of her own breathing and the loud ringing in her ears for company as she felt the day's worth of exhaustion finally catching up on her. She was vaguely aware of Michelle knocking on the other side of the door but she couldn't bring herself to care. She just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear; this wasn't how things were supposed to go.

.

"She's pregnant" Nick said to himself, he slowly lowered himself onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

Michelle turned her head and watched as he sat back and sighed, she stopped knocking on the wooden door of the bathroom "I'll be right out here" She said loud enough so that she was sure Carla would hear before making her way over beside Nick.

"Yeah" She said quietly "She's pregnant"

"How far along?" Nick turned to face Michelle and her heart broke for him, his eyes were glassy, the pained emotion written all over his face.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't." She replied. "I only found out two days ago, she'd left the test in the bathroom by accident"

"How long…does she…I don't…" Nick found himself over-whelmed, struggling with what question to ask first. When Carla had come to him just days before the wedding, trying to convince him that starting over in Devon was the right thing, mentioning the 'three' of them, had she known then?

"Is it mine?" He wanted to vomit the second the words came out of his mouth; he couldn't believe that he'd even asked the question.

"Of course it is" Michelle replied incredulously "Nick, listen to me." She turned on the couch and grabbed his upper arm making him look her in the eye. "Robert was one time. It was a stupid, drunken mistake. Trust me."

Nick nodded; he couldn't bring himself to form a sentence. "Believe me, Carla hates herself for what she's done to you, I've known her since we were kids, I've never seen her this distraught about anything."

"I can't…"

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. Or make you feel like you have to stay because you don't, nobody, not even Carla would blame you for walking away. But if you are, please do it now."

Nick couldn't quite believe his ears when the words hit him "What?"

"Nick, I honestly think you two are made for each other and that if you both don't try and work through this you'll regret it but if you don't think you can, you need to end it now. I know what she's done is awful and I completely understand that you don't trust her and everything but I can't watch her break again. After everything she's been through, I mean, you and I both know she's hard as nails but at the same time she's one of the most vulnerable people there is"

"But the baby, I can't just leave…"

"I'm not saying you leave the baby" She insisted "I just mean that if you and Carla can't make it as a couple…just please don't drag her along. You both need to decide what you want. With each other, and with the baby"

He felt his heart plummet fifty feet "She doesn't want the baby?" After everything they had both been through, both losing their babies, the pain and the heartache of each miscarriage was now more raw than ever. They had helped each other grieve, Carla opened up to him more about her baby girl than she had to anyone, even Michelle and she had helped Nick through the loss of his son, they had spoken of hopes and dreams for their kids and what they think they would've been like had they made it into the big wide world.

"Its not that…its just…" Michelle sighed "She doesn't want you to stay with her just for the baby."

Nick faced forward, his eyes boring holes into the wall in front of him; never in his wildest dreams did he think that this is where he and Carla would end up.

"She thinks you hate her and that you're such a good guy that you would stay with her for the baby. She doesn't want you to resent your child, she said she doesn't want you to be stuck with her when you could be a hundred times happier with someone else"

"I just want her" Nick admitted, he turned to Michelle and ran his hand over his tired face. "I just want this to be last week when I didn't know anything or New Year so I could've stopped her from going to the casino, stopped all this shit from happening…"

"But you can't" Michelle gripped his hand with hers "You can't change what's already happened, you can only move forward. But you need to decide what it is you really want"

"She's just gonna shut me out isn't she?" Michelle could see the worry etched on his face. "We both know how she is when something like this happens. She tucks herself away inside her own head and lets her anxieties run wild"

"That's exactly what happened when she found out about Johnny." Michelle replied quietly "We all tried to talk to her about it, you, me, Roy…she wouldn't have any of it"

"She was just so angry" Nick mumbled "Kept talking about how her life could've been so different if only he'd stood up and said something back then"

"She replays the past in her head, I know you know the basics of what her mum was like but Nick, she was awful" Michelle sighed and ran her hands through her long dark hair "Carla had a hell of a time growing up, now that she knows about Johnny, the fact that everything could've been so different, that's what she was so focused on"

"So she ran…" Nick sighed, "Like she always does," He gestured towards the bathroom door, the tiled room opposite their bedroom that currently held his sobbing, pregnant wife.

"She's spent her whole life running, it's all she knows how to do" Michelle told him quietly.

"That's what Robert was about" Nick sat forward with his head in his hands "She just got this massive news, her whole life tipped up on end and she ran, got drunk…slept with _him_ " He felt physically sick at the thought of Robert with his hands and his mouth all over Carla's body.

"Yeah, I suppose it was" Michelle placed her hand on Nick's shoulder and gently squeezed "But that's _all_ it was, Nick. It wasn't anything you or anyone else did"

"How do I know she won't do it again?"

"You don't, but I suppose that's the real question" She suggested, "Do you trust her enough not to do something like that again? Because if you don't, this will never work."

.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**  
 **Let me know what you think, your comments mean everything.**

 **twitter: ahoycinderella**


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